As teachers many of us suffer from ... Mommy Guilt. All you full time working moms, you know this all too well. While most parents reach the end of Summer vacation with a few more gray hairs, I suffer from this guilt. I'm always torn. Excited to return to work, awaiting adult conversation and anxious to meet a new set of students. Yet I leave behind 2 sweet faces, long days of exploring, car rides, zoo visits and a few weeks of carefree living.
There's no cure for Mommy Guilt. The only thing I can do is trust that I'm doing the right thing year after year. As a teacher I am entrusted with the lives of 20+ students every year. I care for them, watch them grow, teach them and I hope in some way I shape them. While I spend 6 hours watching them grow, I can't help wonder if I've missed something of my own children. Will it affect them later? Will they resent me? I don't know. I can only hope I'm getting something right.
The long hours Monday thru Friday with unpaid overtime (the papers don't correct themselves and the lesson don't plan themselves) is just beginning. Reality is 180 days, 6 hours a day turns into so much more! Luckily, it takes a village to raise a child. I am part of many villages both at home and at work. I entrust my youngest to the care of a daycare provider 3 days a week. My oldest starts Kindergarten and will be in school as long as I am. She has many people affecting her life each day. Teachers, classmates, and before/after school daycare staff. Add in her grandmothers helping out during the switchover, juggling opposite work schedules, evening classes and we've got a HUGE village supporting us.
Yes, this time of year there's an increase of mommy guilt. I am busy with trainings, the classroom needs to be set up and all the organizing has to be done in less than two weeks. I start getting the girls into a back to school routine and normal bedtimes. My youngest begins daycare, while my oldest is my little helper. As I drove my baby to daycare this week, my heart was heavy, the tears beginning to welt up and as I pull into the well known street, I hear..."YES! Happy dance mommy". I look in the rear view and she's got her hands in the air and is shaking herself back and forth in the car seat. I asked her why she was doing the "Happy Dance" and she responds because I get to see my friends again and swing and play with the dog and the bunny. Well I couldn't help but smile and inside I did a little "Happy Dance" too.
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